Furious Six and the Careless Propagation of The Ridiculous

"Are they serious?"  "I think so, but just keep smiling until we cash the check."

The guys behind us were the bullseye in the center of the target audience.

Two of them escaped from the set of COPS, with their gaunt frames, toothless grins, and oversized dayglo Akademiks hoodies and jorts.

Their benefactor was probably well outside of the coveted 18-34 demo, but mentally he fit right in. The only thing holding him back from being as raucous and garroulous as the knuckleheaded tagalongs beside him was the likely heart condition he was nursing, as signaled by fits of wheezing and a minute of labored breathing every time he climbed the steps to corner of the top row.

They were they type to ask for their money back from a free screening when the movie started to play sans sounds or subtitles tailor made for eighth grade readers. They were also proof that my cousin was right, "acting out and acting stupid has nothing to do with color and everything to do with class."

Once the sound was fixed and the cars, a black 2012 Challenger (that will always pale in comparison to the 70' original) and a silver GT-R, blared through the tunnel, speeding down a single-lane highway that winds around the mountainous landscape of the Canary Islands, they were hooked.

Of course that's how The Fast and The Furious 6, or Furious 6 as the title card at the end of the flick's TV-show style opening states, starts. With a growl. It continues with a succession of loud shouts and doesn't stop until midway through the credits.

Furious 6 grabs the attention of audiences like the folks behind us by excising cohesion, logic, or narrative intelligence and becomes the famed Set Piece showcase that cinephiles have prophesized since the rise of the blockbuster. Where Fast 5 was light, silly, generally focused, and vaguely purposeful. Furious 6 is the same, but far more audacious albeit much messier and far sillier. Does it tread into the realm of "so bad it's good"? No. It goes beyond such a distinction and rolls right into the realm of being so ridiculous that there's no way it can be anything other than entertaining.

This time, Texas Rocky (Dwayne Johnson as Lucas Hobbs), or Samoan Thor as Ludacris' Tej considers him, and Haywire (Gina Carano) conscript Dominic Ocean (Vin Diesel) and his band of merry thieves to help him bring down a team of ex-paramilitary "warriors" who are planning to steal a nuclear device with souped-up Indy Cars that with ramps built onto the frame, for the express purpose of flipping suckers. No bullshit.

So, rather than acknowledge that Torretto and his demo-specific rainbow crew--white (Paul Walker's Brian O'Connor); black (the aforementioned Ludacris and Tyrese's Roman, both all stars in this); asian (Sung Kang's Han); middle eastern (Gal Gadot's Giselle); and hispanic (Michelle Rodriguez's Letty and Elsa Pataky's Brazilian cop, whose name is irrelevant because...Letty)--are essentially criminals with hearts of gold who just happened to destroy lives and property in Rio for a cool hundred million, Furious 6 tries desperately to convince us that they are the "urban" Avengers by handwaving the less savory aspects of the characters and highlighting their heroics and devotion to family. In case you're unclear about that, check the slow walk pose poster of the heroes tagged onto the end of the opening.

Eschewing all evidence to the contrary, Texas Rocky believes these guys are heroes and gives them government funding and resources to take down the crew's military dopplegangers (a point thankfully lampshaded by Tej) led by the depressingly shallow Owen Shaw, played by the frighteningly charisma-less Luke Evans, who has proven that he should be kept as far away from Brandon Lee's legacy as possible with this performance. The hook? Michelle Rodriguez's resurrected Letty is one of Shaw's team. The twist? She can't remember anything about her past life.

To catch Shaw and bring Letty back to "The Family", Dom's crew must destroy London, and eventually Spain, with anything on four wheels they can get their hands on. There is a level of wanton death and destruction that surpasses even the climax of Fast 5, which is almost proof positive that few people in the industry, creatives or otherwise, understand that the basic purpose of heroes is to safeguard human lives. In truth, this destruction is limited to two major set pieces and a handful of physical encounters that demonstrate how nobody involved remembers that this movie series used to be about drag racers (see Tokyo Drift for the most on-target Fast and Furious movie about racing and youth culture).

Those set pieces are all that matters, and as the product of Justin Lin's wild imagination, they are the best evidence that he should be sending his reels to Kevin Feige and Marvel so he can get a shot at contributing to their blockbuster assembly line. This doesn't make him a great auteur--in fact, many of the action scenes raise more questions about Lin's ability to examine human consequence of such destruction more than anything else, but what action director hasn't made the same fundamental error--or anything like that, but any director who can come up with multiple stunts where mere humans jump from speeding cars across fifteen to twenty foot chasms deserves to play with bigger, flashier toys.

Screenwriter Chris Morgan, on the other hand, should really sit in a public place and just listen to people talk rather than reading the index of the Christopher Nolan Guide to Weighty Dialogue in a 21st Century Action Film. Expository to a fault, the script explains everything, even when the same information is shown within the same frame. The best example is the return of Nucky's brother (Shea Whigham) as a FBI agent and colleague of Brian's who gets his nose broken by Brian again in a practically unnecessary yet purely fanservice-y subplot. The character literally says "again", to help viewers whose memories and attention spans can't even reach back to last week's showing of Fast and Furious on USA. Unfortunately, the script structure works perfectly for audience members like the jolly fellows behind us, who repeated every moderately clever line, guffawed at the adolescent ribbing, and were absolutely flummoxed by the obvious turns in the narrative.

Despite its faults, Furious 6 is unquestionably a critic-proof crowd pleaser, and an astounding amount of credit goes to Tyrese and the usually wooden Ludacris for making Furious 6 far more palatable than it had any reason to be. They double-handedly saved this farce from devolving into pure, unadultered fandango. These guys deserve a buddy movie where they are a pair of good natured, ne'er-do-well thieves with a love for the high life. Tyrese, moreso than Luda, exemplifies the perfect response to the concentrated ridiculousness around him by laughing at the insanity and carrying on like a man who left his marbles at the door. Both he and Luda are quick with generally funny one-liners, followed by what appears to be an honest laugh at the silliness on display, yet Tyrese's Roman, with his insatiable hunger and toothy grin, hews closer to glib braggarts found in better criminal team-up movies like Ocean's 11. He and Luda stand in stark contrast to stone-faced Diesel, Walker, Rodriguez...almost everybody except for Rocky, on occasion, who are so busy playing phony tough and crazy brave to ever find a sliver of humor or inanity in their circumstance. And really, thank goodness for them. Granted, it kind of sucks to see the brothers reduced to comedy relief, especially with so many POC in the film, but without them, this would be an excruciatingly dour, yet still unintentionally hilarious, experience. 

Ultimately, this elaborate diatribe is meant to say one thing: this is a silly movie (maybe the most unintentionally hilarious flick this year). Take it for what it's worth. It's targeted at the back rows. The loud folks in the jorts and dated urban gear who spent fifty bucks on a small heart attack at the concession stand. The ones who aspire to ball in tricked-out super cars and stuff massive amounts of overdeveloped muscles into smedium tees while punching Renegade GI Joes into oblivion. In no way will this ever be confused for something designed for  the cineastes, but neither was The Avengers

Yet, Furious 6 is also aimed at the 13-year old in many of us who is absolutely tickled at superheroes in. If you can sit amongst the crowds described above, witness such ridiculous wonders as a man jumping from a moving car and catching another person then slaming into the windshield of another car, laugh, and cast them aside as adolescent diversions then enjoy. If you can absorb the audacious ridiculousness of Furious 6 and smile, like I did after I had a week to let it sink in, then have as much fun as you can with it. But, be warned, don't over analyze this flick. Don't even analyze it.  Leave that to silly people like me, who should know better. If you think to much about Furious 6, you will find yourself arguing with an idiot, and we know how that argument usually ends.

Top Ten Films of 2011

This year, I didn’t get to see as many indies and non-mainstream films as I wanted, but, in general, this was a decent, if less than momentous year for film. If anything, the best films of the year were those that simply made me smile. My top ten for the year are, uniformly, crowd-pleasers with one or two notable exceptions. While none of the selections in this list are in any danger of changing the way audiences think, feel, or live, each selection managed to entertain and keep the doldrums of the day jobs and drudgery of daily duties at bay.

10. Hanna








Grade: A
Thanks to a confident, atmospheric visual palette from director Joe Wright and disgustingly lethal beatings courtesy of waifish Saoirse Ronan, Hanna delivered an indie take on the Bourne series that easily overtook the farce that was Sucker Punch in the Girl Power division.

9. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol









Grade: B
Tom Cruise continued to tempt death in this exciting entry that expanded the scope and ambition of the series far beyond the previous installments. Kudos to Brad Bird, in particular, for translating some of the old animation magic into his first live-action feature.

8. Real Steel









Grade: B
Easily dismissed as the Rock’em, Sock’em Robots: The Movie--which it is—this Rocky for the Transformers-set is far more entertaining and affecting than it had any right to be. Despite having a grumpy lead and a precocious kid, Real Steel proved its mettle (sorry) with solid robot-on-robot violence and an underdog narrative that rarely fails.

7. Warrior









Grade: A
In training to break the Dark Knight, the man who would be Bane (Tom Hardy), shows raw physical and emotional range in this Rocky for the MMA-set. Hardy’s performance is thankfully only one of the many highlights, as Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte both shine as Hardy’s brother and father, respectively.

6. Fast Five









Grade: B+
Fast Five is a trade off: it relinquishes the negligible street cred—as if it ever had any—of focusing on underground street racing to become Toretto’s Seven, using any trick in the heist flick glossary to put on a show like no other Fast &Furious movie has before. It takes a moment to accept that a Fast & Furious movie can be guilt-free fun, let alone, good, but this one is both.

5. Hugo
G







Grade: A
Touching to a fault and submerged in a wonderfully luminous visual style, Hugo takes two well-worn narratives--the young orphan in search of a home and the idealistic youngster who
warms the heart of an old curmudgeon—and weaves them into a moving story that honors the early days of film while making at least 90% of the audience cry--almost.

4. Attack the Block









Grade: A
In the vein of Scott Pilgrim (which was directed by Block’s producer Edgar Wright), British import Attack the Block is a unique, underrated vision that never got the attention it deserved. More people probably saw this movie for free than any other flick this year. For those who did, they were treated to a topical twist on the alien invasion narrative that speaks to anybody who lives in a ‘ignored’ part of town.

3. Rango








Grade: A
Somehow, Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski managed to roll up Spaghetti Westerns and Gonzo journalist adventures into a visually stunning and idiosyncratic take on Chinatown that was aimed at kids, but easily entertained all ages. Easily Johnny Depp’s best animated performance this year, with Captain Jack’s return in On Stranger Tides a slightly distant second.

2. Captain America









Grade: A
Easily the best superhero movie this year. Possibly the best Marvel movie since Blade II. Joe Johnston’s Captain America was a throwback to an era where heroes were uncomplicated and unashamedly earnest. Evoking memories of Johnston’s 90’s cult classic, The Rocketeer, Captain America, played ably by Chris Evans, showed audiences that heroes can be heroes without angst, armored suits, or ambiguity.

1. The Artist








Grade: A+
An all-around crowd pleaser fronted by two of the most winning leads of the year (Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo). Following the tale of a falling silent movie star and the rise of the spunky young starlet he’s fell in love with, The Artist is light-hearted but affecting and a wonderful experiment in the power of performances and visual over dialogue. Filmed in the manner of silent films that predated Hollywood’s golden era, The Artist may seem like it’s based around a gimmick, but rarely is a gimmick attached to such an entertaining and touching narrative.

Review - Rio

Grade: B-

The Good: Colorful and lively, with some catchy musical numbers and a few honest chuckles. Shows some degree of social awareness amidst the candy coated fun.

The Bad: Not a particularly revelatory addition to the modern animated canon. Voice performances aren’t terrible, but lack an identity outside of the actors’ pre-established quirks.

It’s a given that studio films, especially animated features of the 3D variety, are generally unoriginal, yet I still find the concept of dueling movies—or at least the kind that have extremely similar elements—fascinating. Now, Fox and Blue Sky Studios Rio has very little in common with the upcoming fourth Fast and the Furious sequel, save for the setting of Rio de Janiero, Brazil. But, with these two movies being released mere weeks apart, it’s likely that most perceptive moviegoers will surmise that—hyperbolic and obvious as it may seem—Brazil is hot.

It’s too early to tell if Fast Five’s exotic setting is just a backdrop or a vital character in its own right, but Rio makes the home of Carnaval equally as important as any of its main characters with a colorful palette and a lively samba beat at the heart of a not-so original tale about learning to fly outside of one’s comfort zone.

Rio follows aptly named Blue Macaw Blu (Jesse Eisenberg), a rare avian species born in the rainforests of South America, as he and his lifelong, yet overprotective, human owner, Linda (Leslie Mann), venture to Rio at the behest of geeky ornithologist Tulio (Rodrigo Santoro). Tulio hopes Blu, the last male of his kind, will be able to mate with female Blue Macaw Jewel, the always-energetic Anne Hathaway, and repopulate the species. Unfortunately, Blu has spent his life in domesticity with Linda, and, unfortunately, doesn’t know the first thing about interacting with his own kind nor the defining quality of birds: flying. Once in Rio, Blu and Jewel are swiped by exotic pet smugglers after a botched escape attempt from Tulio’s sanctuary. As the two try to escape their captors and return to their respective homes, they learn about each other and the courage it’ll take to do the impossible.

The best word to describe Rio is colorful. From the stunning multicolor visuals to the wacky cast of characters to the lively Samba-tinged soundtrack, Rio is not lacking for liveliness. The artists at Blue Sky studio have composed a dynamic visual feat for its target audience to ogle while they bounce up and down in their seats. Rio’s crowded beaches, clamoring street life, dazzling Carnaval floats and performers, even the cluttered slums are rendered beautifully in some of the most vibrant CG animation this side of a Pixar project. Thankfully, the pricy 3D only enhances the experience so parents needn’t worry—too much—about dishing out the extra bucks for a muddy 3D conversion. While the kaleidoscopic animation might not track with most members of the audience, the movie’s main musical numbers are sure to catch their attention. Rio delivers at least three samba-infused pop performances that are sure to pull some butts—young and not-so-young alike—out of their seats. At least two of the numbers are clearly influenced by the Black Eyed Peas will.i.am, who contributes his voice to one of the film’s many feathered characters. Aside from the performances, there are a few chuckle-worthy scenes, particularly a mildly epic clash between bird and monkeys that evokes notions of the Pirates vs. Ninja meme, but nothing as riotous as last month’s Rango.

The all-star voice cast deliver performances that mimic their live-action performances so closely that it lead to one of the simplest games of ‘guess that voice’ I’ve ever played. Jesse Eisenberg voices Blu with that same amount of stammering braininess with a slight edge that makes him a much more digestible version of Michael Cera. Anne Hathaway delivers her own patented edgy, manic energy as Jewel, who could just as easily have been the pet of Hathaway’s character in Love and Other Drugs. A bit trickier to identify is Flight of the Conchords Jermaine Clement as the erudite and villainous Nigel. Clement hams it up, somehow managing to chew through animated scenery as a vain, yet past his prime, cockatoo who relentlessly pursues Blu and Jewel for the eeevil smugglers. George Lopez lends his voice to Rafael, a family man toucan playing a variation on the mystical minority guide, and Jamie Foxx and the aforementioned will.i.am play a musical Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who provide snarky and occasionally slapstick comic relief when they aren’t kicking off the musical numbers.

All in all, Rio isn’t terrible, and it’s not particularly revelatory. It’s middle of the road fun for families with a tepid lesson tacked on at the end. The humor is hardly the funniest, with mostly retreads of fish-out-of-water jokes that are stale by the second act. Commendably, Rio only slightly shies away from the realities of Rio beyond Carnaval with one human character, Fernando (Wizards of Waverly Place’s Jake T. Austin), representing orphaned, homeless Brazilian children who engage in a life of petty crime. Still, this awareness isn’t significant enough to elevate Rio into the ranks of recent animated gems like Up, Rango and How to Train Your Dragon. If you keep your expectations relatively low, you’ll enjoy yourself, even if you forget most of what happened once you drop your popcorn in overflowing trashcan. If set your expectations to high you’re cruising for disappointment. But, don’t worry parents, the kids will enjoy themselves either way.